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MG ZR ZS ZT Technical - In Occasional series Mega dicuses the Banes of the Modern Motorist:- Tonight the 'PEOPLE CARRIER'

In an occasional series Mega discuses the banes of the modern motorist!

Tonight the "People carrier"!

Good Evening Ladies and gentleman, there are many hazards to driving in Blair's Britain but I thought tonight we should start with something simple…..The "PEOPLE CARRIER"

I think I have lost count how many times I have found parking spaces rendered total useless by a people carrier. Their size means it is almost impossible to park one in a single space and leave space for doors to be opened.
They tend to also be parked by touch and they are bloody difficult to see around should you wish to overtake one. They get left out on the street to form a sort of semimobile roadblock.

I have also noticed a number of them being driven very aggressively by the men driving them. If they hate them so much why did they buy them?
They didn't! Women buy them and it has nothing to do with safety, space or practicality!

Ford have found that most people carries are brought by Women or men driven by women in the late 30's early 40's. This statistic gives the game away. Madam is not looking for people carrier, no way would she spend the thick end of £25,000 on one, but she has a problem.

Age is catching her up, BIG time! It seems only yesterday that she was a slim cute 20 something, but now the mirror tells a very different tale. She is not what she was and she knows it. Having sussed this, she now decides that her hubby is a prime target for a take over. Why was he late tonight? Why was he talking to that Sue at number 23?. She must do something but what?

Every women wants a good looking man by her side, so making him look sh*t is not an option. However there is something she can do to f*ck him up big time……..buy a people carrier!

It does not matter if he looks like James Bond, in a people carrier he will have all the appeal of a dog turd. To other females People carriers say married, loads of kids, loads of bills, loads of commitments! Plus sad boring and hen pecked. In other words F*ck off bitch, he mine!
And it works a treat.

Next time you see a 30 something Bloke driving a "People carrier" look at his face, he has missed out on more than a good driving experience, and he knows IT!
Mega

Next Week the Born again (and soon to die) motorcyclist!
Mike MEGA

F*ck me Mega, nights must just fly buy in merseyside, whats up, are you stuck in doors waiting for your next dole check!?

Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh..

Only kidding your case rings true, but again in true mega style F<ck all to do with MGs.....

K.
K Heaton

Found that quite amusing Mega old son .... but a similar piece on those lines has been done before ... some truth therein though.

The move towards ever larger vehicles in the UK in recent years, be it for example the new MINI or the latest multi-axle commercial freight train on rubber; is an assured guarantee that things cannot get better for the UK motoring enthusiast .... EVER ... and keep paying those ever increasing indirect taxes ...

.............. :-(
John McFeely

Good one Mega. Looking forward to your thoughts on the born again motorcyclists. I encounter a lot of these when driving in the Yorkshire Dales - See my comments on the NMGO thread on "Events and Social!"

Diggers.
Diggers

Re: people carriers.

With another sprog on the way, we need a new car with three 3-point harnesses in the back.

The choice came down to Citroen Xsara(?) Picasso, or a 4-door MG ZS120. Seriously! It did! They really were by far the two best solutions.

Tough one? Nope! Tough luck Citroen - ZS's on order.
David Bainbridge

What exactly is the point of those 5 seater MPVs? The Renault Cynic, Citroen Pickhandle et al. They have five seats like an ordinary saloon or hatchback and yet they are so TALL.

Much cleverer than that type of boxy, over-tall, chest-of drawers on wheels is the Austin Maxi.

Don't laugh.

Two inches longer than a FIAT Tipo (itself not a large car) two inches taller than a Tipo (it's hard not to conclude that IDEA had the Maxi in mind when producing the Tipo) and with the interior volume of a Mercedes S-Class.

I have long maintained that you will only ever get to know someone if you spend a weekend in an Austin Maxi with them.

Two weeks ago I e-mailed Channel 4 with an amusing idea for a kind of chat show/philosophical discussion/road movie hybrid type thing called "A Weekend in an Austin Maxi with..."

A programme in which I get to spend a weekend with a member of the glitterati...in an Austin Maxi.

It would be a celebration of the car's versatility: it can be turned into a double bed, you know.

I also suggested that it would be quite nice to develop the Maxi into a kind of cultured high performance hatchback. Using a tuned E6 2.2 litre engine as suggested by Roger Parker some months ago. And don't forget the Maxi has pukka double wishbone IFS - just look at what MG-R had achieved with the similarly equipped ZS. Therein lies a quirky documentary; an unlikely hot hatch for thinking people.

All of the above would be paid out of C4's coffers of course.

Oddly enough, C4 did not reply to my e-mail.

But then, I was very, very drunk at the time.

However, given the choice, with whom would you like to spend a weekend in an Austin Maxi, and why?
Mr Peebles

>>>>What exactly is the point of those 5 seater MPVs?

As far as I could see, their only advantage is that they are about 15cm wider in the back. Doesn't sound much, but when you need to get 3 child seats in it makes a difference.

However, the back of a ZS is still 130cm across, so we'll just have to hope our kids grow up with narrow ar*es!
David Bainbridge

David, get yourself a Maxi then.

Or get yourself a ZS and have one of your children adopted.

Do not go gentle into the 5-seat MPV good night...

And you haven't answered my question.
Mr Peebles

This thread was discussed between 14/05/2002 and 17/05/2002

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